Gottman notes that 31% of time conflicts are solvable. He notes that the solution is gentleness. Gottman further notes that happy couples present their issues in a softened way by accepting influence, working to repair the conversation and actively compromise. Conversely, unhappy couples start harshly, reject influence, reject all repair attempts and refuse to compromise. Gottman notes that accepting influence is the biggest help. Instead of responding to your partner with an automatic no, try asking questions, say “good point” or “I never thought of it that way” etc. Find out your partner’s perspective instead of trying to push your own.